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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28130706">Secret Santa Mishaps</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentGreyNevada/pseuds/AgentGreyNevada'>AgentGreyNevada</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Red vs. Blue</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Christmas, Christmas Party, College AU, Gen, Gift Giving, Holidays, One Shot, Secret Santa, Shenanigans, holiday party</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 14:22:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,720</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28130706</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentGreyNevada/pseuds/AgentGreyNevada</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Reds and Blues (along with two orphaned mercenaries) gather for an evening of gift giving, shouting, and normal shenanigans to ring in the holiday spirit!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Secret Santa Mishaps</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ketchrey/gifts">Ketchrey</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Secret Santa present for Ketchrey! (just added this because I just discovered they have an AO3 account xD)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Donut, not this shit again." Tucker mumbled as he came through the kitchen door. </p><p>"Whaddya mean, Tucker?" Donut gave him an 'innocent' glance. "It's going to be a fun party!" Tucker glanced around at the mess Donut had made in the kitchen. </p><p>"Well....what the hell is all this?!" He gestured to the white powder that was thrown everywhere and nearly covered everything. </p><p>"Oh! Flour for the doughnuts. Can't have them being too sticky now, can we?" Donut responded in song as Doc entered from the living room. </p><p>"Hey uh, Tucker? What does Church usually do for Hanukkah?" The shy biology student asked. </p><p>Tucker sputtered. "How would I know? I merely live with the guy." Doc squinted at the college sophomore. </p><p>"Tucker, that's exactly what I mean! You lived with him for two years, you should know him better than that!" Doc responded. </p><p>"Yeah, well, I don't. So? What are you going to do about it?" </p><p>Sighing in defeat, Doc went back to the living room while holding a small bag of dreidels. He frankly had no clue what else to do to make Church feel included on the Christmas festivities. </p><p>"Speaking of Church, where's the rest of the gang? Did they hit a hard spot?" Donut asked, rolling out more dough onto the kitchen counter. Tucker gave a weak shrug. </p><p>"Not sure. I just came from fencing practice." It was no wonder why Tucker smelled like a mixture of sweat and Axe body spray. </p><p>"Hmm, I should give them a booty call, so they can get their butts over here so we can start!" Tucker cringed to Donut's line as he went to the sink to wash his hands. Before Donut could even pull out his phone, the front door busted open. </p><p>"Red Team has claimed their ownership of the front lawn!" Sarge's voice was heard echoing through the foyer. Tucker gave a dramatic sigh. </p><p>"Did you....really park on the front lawn?" Tucker blinked, exiting the kitchen to find the remainders of Red Team taking off their bundles of winter clothes. Grif was still in shorts. </p><p>"Well Tucker, he attempted to." Simmons started to explain. "Since the house is located on a hill, he tried to drive up it."</p><p>"And succeeded with flying colors!" Sarge interjected. </p><p>"...and by succeed you mean get the Warthog stuck in a frozen hole and ran over a mailbox? Sure, whatever floats your boat." Grif rolled his eyes with his words as he walked past Tucker to immediately sit on the couch. "Holy shit, why is this couch rock hard?" </p><p>"Not as rock hard as something else~!" Donut called from the kitchen as he brought out a bowl of nuts and placed them next to the nutcrackers on the table. "Here, help yourself to my nuts!" </p><p>Tucker, who loved a good sex joke, couldn't even handle the level Donut was currently displaying. "I....am going to go wash my ears." Tucker wandered off to find the bathroom in the house as Sarge, Simmons and Lopez also made their way into the living room. </p><p>"My, what a fine place this is! We should get our own like this next year!" Sarge stood proudly in the middle, taking in the fine decorating. "Who owns this place?" </p><p>"I do!" Doc came around the corner after putting dreidals in all the common areas. "This is my place, Donut stays with me since he's having roommate issues." </p><p>Grif squinted for a moment. "Doesn't....Donut live with that insane artist guy? Terrence?" </p><p>"Oh, you mean Sharkface." A snarky voice came through the foyer as Felix and Locus were also discarding of their winter garments. Locus took pride in hanging his coat up correctly as Felix merely kicked his shoes into the pile and threw his coat on top. "He's a bit of a weird one, weirder than Locus, I might add." </p><p>"...I am standing right here, Felix." Locus squinted at his comrade. He pondered slugging Felix in the arm, however he decided in better judgement. </p><p>"Oh come on, Locus! Lighten up!" Felix's charming voice cascaded amongst the other people as he went to place his Secret Santa present under the tree. Sarge had wanted it to be called 'Secret Soldier' but everyone was in agreement that they were not living Sarge's war fantasy with him. Except for Red Team. Because they were mandated to. </p><p>"Okay, so, where's the rest of my team?" Tucker stood in the doorway to the kitchen, looking at Red House making themselves comfortable in the rather spacious living room. Felix moved past Tucker, both exchanging awkward glances. They were rivals on the fencing team. </p><p>"I wouldn't know." Locus tried to be helpful. "I merely brought Felix here after fencing practice." </p><p>Tucker sighed impatiently before everyone heard a loud crash come from outside the apartment. Donut peeked past Tucker and Doc scurried from the dining room to look outside. </p><p>"Oh no! My begonia bed!" He shouted, quickly running outside to tend to the now wrecked patch of dead plants while Church, Sister and Caboose walked inside. Caboose seemed too pleased with himself while Church seemed....annoyed at best. </p><p>"Hey, what the hell took you guys so long?!" Tucker exclaimed as he came over to greet the rest of his team. Caboose flung off his wet snow boots and wore his coat into the house, even though Church tried to tell him otherwise. </p><p>"Tucker, do you even need to ask?" Church grumbled, passing off his Secret Santa present to Tucker while he took off his posh winter jacket. "Caboose needed to....make stops." </p><p>"Yes. We stopped at the train tracks! And at the Dunkin Donuts! And back at the dorm hall!" Caboose interjected as he sat in the middle of the floor, literally in everybody's way. </p><p>"Wait a minute, you had to drive back to the dorm halls? Why?" Simmons questioned as Church sighed. </p><p>"...he forgot his Secret Santa present. For the <em>Secret Santa </em>party." Church deadpanned while grinding his teeth. Grif and Simmons spoke 'Oh' silently while nodding in agreement that it made logical sense. Tucker folded his arms again when Felix came back from the bathroom. </p><p>"Alright, so are we ready to start?" He was the impatient one of the two 'orphans'. Him and Locus didn't fit in the Red and Blue Houses, so they were on their own. Sarge liked to joked that they were orphans because they don't want to be adopted by either team. </p><p>"Not so fast, Felix! We can't rush to the big climax!" Donut chimed in, parting the way and bringing in a tray of hors d'oeuvres to place onto the coffee table. Grif was already latching onto the bacon wrapped scallops. "And I think we're missing people!" </p><p>"Yeah, Carolina and Wash aren't here yet." Church mentioned as he simply leaned against the wall next to the wooden fireplace. "Hey, who the hell owns a house with a real fireplace? What is this, the rich and famous?" </p><p>"No, just a nice house off campus!" Doc called, bringing out the menorah to place on top of the mantle with fake candles. Church squinted. </p><p>"Uh....it's a Christmas party, right?" He asked Doc as he was humming away. </p><p>"Well it's a <em>holiday </em>party. You know, cuz you're Jewish!" Doc explained as he tried to correct the crooked menorah as Church sighed. </p><p>"Ya know it doesn't bother me, right?" </p><p>"Well uh....I didn't wanna make you feel left out!" Doc sweated nervously before quickly leaving the space to help Donut in the kitchen. The front door opened once again as more bodies shuffled in. </p><p>"God, people can't drive in this town." Wash spoke with a huff, his cheeks a rosy red while he wiped his shoes on the front mat. He came with two other people, Carolina and-</p><p>"Allison?!" Church nearly screamed. The woman - also known as Tex - gave a smirk with a wave as Church rolled his eyes and disappeared deeper into the house. Tucker blinked aggressively. </p><p>"Oh <em>hello </em>there," He strutted over to her, Felix lingering behind. "Hey baby, wanna come ride in a sick truck?" </p><p>"Oh, you mean that tacky turquoise Jeep outside?" Tex replied, gesturing with her hand to the door. "Forget it. I don't desire a man who has balls hanging from the hitch." Tex walked past Tucker as Felix snorted. </p><p>"Looks like you got rejected." He smirked, following Tex to see where she was headed. Tucker turned his attention to Wash who dawned a cat Christmas sweater. </p><p>"Hey Tucker, sorry I'm late. Traffic leaving the university was awful." Wash gave a relieved smile as he went to place his Secret Santa gift in the tree. "Anyway, did you guys get started yet?" </p><p>"No, you dirty blue." Sarge hissed from the couch. "We've been waiting on you and Miss Red-But-Not-Red over there!" He pointed to Carolina, who was making pleasantries with Locus by the fire. </p><p>"I may be a redhead, but I will not join Red House." She snarked before wandering to the dining room to grab a drink. Everyone began to mix and mingle as Donut finished the party's dinner with the help of Doc, Locus and Wash. Carolina was in charge of keeping Grif out of the kitchen and Church had to keep Caboose from rummaging through all of the presents. Soon enough, Donut clinked a wine glass filled with orange juice with a fork. </p><p>"Okay guys! I know you've been anticipating the moment, but the food is ready in the dining room! Get ready to stuff yourselves full of Double O Donut's cooking!"</p>
<hr/><p>People ate in areas all around the first floor since the dining room couldn't accommodate for all 15 people. Doc had turned on his audio system to play some <em>classy </em>holiday music as the Reds and Blues mixed around. Simmons had to stop Grif from eating all the food so people could take some home for leftovers. Most of Blue House had to get Caboose to not roll around on the floor while he ate. </p><p>"Alright everyone, if you're stuffed to the brim, let's finally have our climax in the living room!" Donut announced while ushering people with finished plates to discard of them in the kitchen before gathering by the Christmas tree. Everyone assumed a position either sitting on the floor, couch or chairs. Church stood near the door in case he needed to make a quick exit. </p><p>"Okay everyone!" Doc called out over the chatter. "Let's get started: who would like to give their gift first?" Doc was honestly super excited about this. He'd never done Secret Santa before. </p><p>"Ugh fine, I will." Grif spoke with a heavy sigh while passing over a pizza box container to Sarge. "Merry Christmas or whatever." </p><p>Sarge's eyes had daggers. "I'd like to veto this gift from Grif." </p><p>"That's...not how this works, Sarge." Church muttered, arms crossed over his chest. "You <em>can't </em>just decide who's your Secret Santa giver." </p><p>"Church, I'm surprised you know so much about Christmas traditions!" Doc exclaimed while Church furrowed his brow. </p><p>"Just because I'm Jewish doesn't mean-" </p><p>"HEY." Grif shouted over the two. "I'm in the middle of giving my gift to Sarge!" </p><p>"And I don't want it!" Sarge folded his arms. "Who knows where that gift's been!" </p><p>"Uhm, Sarge, you might want it." Grif shoved the pizza box into the super-duper senior's lap. The lid, which was not even taped down, popped open to reveal Sarge's model shotgun. </p><p>"Grif read my mind! How did you know I was missing my shotgun?!" Sarge pushed the box aside and pulled out the model gun and held it close to his chest. "I'm never letting you leave my sight again!" </p><p>"Uhm...that's because he stole it, Sir." Simmons piped up before Grif shushed him obnoxiously. </p><p>"Well, I'm glad you like it, Sarge." Grif spoke with some lightness to his voice before he relaxed back into the couch to probably take a nap. </p><p>"Fine. Well now it's my turn." Sarge moved to pick up his gift under the tree and handed it off to Wash. "You're now an Honorary Red." Wash flinched. No one from Blue House <em>really </em>wanted to be a Red, no matter how hard Sarge tried. </p><p>"Oh, uh, thanks Sarge," Wash gave a naive smile before unwrapping the box-shaped present to show a book. It was <em>War and Peace</em>, but severely damaged with 'Peace' scratched out from the book title and replaced with 'More War'. "What did you...?" </p><p>"I took out all the parts about peace, so it's now <em>War and More War</em>, because who needs peace in their lives!" Sarge got overly enthusiastic about his gift to Wash. Wash grimaced. </p><p>"I uh....do need more peace in my life...but thank you," Wash tried his best to act grateful for the gift as he placed it behind him. "Alright, so...." He then got up to retrieve his present from under the tree. "I had Doc for my Secret Santa." </p><p>Doc appeared extremely giddy. "You had me? Aw, I'm so excited to see what you got me!" He took the present from Wash and unwrapped it to show a nerf gun. Wash had a smirk on his face. </p><p>"You are welcome to join Blue House for our...practice sessions." He eyed Tucker and Caboose hiding behind the couch, also with nerf guns. Doc was confused at first but then it burst into a massive smile before Tucker and Caboose shot nerf darts at the biology student with snickers and giggles. </p><p>"Aw, thanks Wash! I appreciate it!" Doc impulsively gave Wash a hug, to which he was very surprised at. Wash timidly hugged back before Doc broke the hug to pull the next present from under the tree. "And I, had the honor of getting a gift for my wonderful co-host!" </p><p>Donut got even more excited than Doc. "Oh I'm overflowing!" Donut took the gift bag from Doc and proceeded to produce bottles of scented tanning oils and a 'couples' blanket. "Ooh! Vanilla satin scented oils! And this blanket is <em>so </em>big." Donut bit his lip with a big smile while rubbing the fabric of the blanket. "Thanks Frank! I know just how to use these later!" </p><p>"Of course, Delano, thanks for being a wonderful co-host and a great friend!" Doc gave a smile in return as Donut wrapped the massive blanket around himself. "Simmons, you can grab your present under the tree, but don't grab it too tightly!" </p><p>Simmons, being the awkward boy he was, stumbled over to the tree to pick up a small box, wrapped in pink glittery wrapping paper. He examined the box, being careful not to crush it as he made his way back to his seat on the couch. Simmons proceeded to methodically unwrap the box to show a microchip. </p><p>"A....microchip?" Simmons squinted. "I-" </p><p>"It's to help rewire your innards!" Donut exclaimed while Sarge softly chuckled. "I can help stick it in you." </p><p>Simmons turned pale, paler than his Irish complexion already made him. "Uhm....m-maybe....but thank you...." He tucked the component off to the side before regaining his composure. "Church, your gift is the big one behind the tree." </p><p>Church blinked before moving behind the Christmas tree to grab the tall, slender box. He wondered if the box was meant to symbolize Simmons because he was also tall and slender, but he knew he was reading too much into it. After moving the box out from behind the tree, he stayed standing and opened it. His face turned from curiosity to mere annoyance. </p><p>"Okay I'm not <em>that </em>bad at Nerf Guns." Church's present was a Nerf Gun sniper rifle with aim assistance. "I don't <em>need </em>aim assistance, Simmons!" </p><p>"Well, I would talk to your team about that." Simmons chuckled. "Wash gave me the intel." </p><p>Church shot daggers at Wash, who suddenly disappeared to the kitchen. "DAVID I'M GOING TO KILL YOU." He trudged off, getting the wrapping paper all over the floor as he dragged the present behind him. "Locus, you can open your stupid gift now." </p><p>Locus blinked, having been in the back corner, trying to avoid being in the splash zone of any heated tension. He carefully maneuvered through everyone to get to the tree to find his gift that was placed in one of the tree branches. Moving back to his spot, he carefully unwrap the box-shaped present to show a manga book collection. Locus floundered with it in his hands, a panicked look in his eyes. Church snickered to himself as he appeared in the kitchen door frame. "How did you-" </p><p>"I had some help." Church looked to Wash for a split second who left the kitchen just then. Wash ran his tea-spilling Instagram and knew Locus was a huge anime nerd. Locus's face ran pale as he placed the book set down to retrieve the gift for his chosen person. </p><p>"I had the honor of purchasing a gift for someone I don't know very well, but thanks to some of your help and guidance, I think I picked an excellent gift. Caboose?" Locus spoke with such elegance, but it was expected of a literature major. Caboose perked up where he was, which was rolling around on the floor on the wrapping paper from Church's gift. </p><p>"Yes hello hi yes, that is me." Caboose spoke rapidly, as he usually did. Locus sighed with a <em>very </em>slight chuckle. He passed off his gift to Caboose delicately, which Caboose nearly ripped it from Locus's hand. He tore off the blue-themed wrapping paper to show a model train with a working engine. </p><p>"Freckles will now be able to be mobile." Locus went back to his corner, trying to keep a small smile on his face. Caboose gasped and shook the box excitedly. </p><p>"AMAZING! HE CAN USE ANY BATHROOM HE WANTS NOW!" Locus felt a few sharp eyes darting at him from Tucker and Church but he frankly didn't care. </p><p>"I'm glad you like it, Caboo-" Locus found himself being embraced by Caboose, who was strangely nearly the same height and build as him. Locus grunted unexpectedly and awkwardly patted at Caboose's back. "You're...welcome, Caboose...." </p><p>"Caboose, who did you have?" Donut asked, trying to keep things moving so they could get to cookie decorating that he planned for the aftercare. </p><p>"Oh yes, yes, I had the amazing.....Taxes!" Caboose finally let go of Locus and moved to the tree, nearly stumbling and causing it to fall over. "<em>Sorry, </em>sorry, I just get uhm...a little clumsy at times." He paused in front of the tree before dashing out of the room. An audible sigh came from Church. </p><p>"It's not my turn to get him." He stood by the doorframe, arms folded. "Tucker, it's your turn." </p><p>"Fuck no, man! The second I stand up, you'll steal my seat! Wash, you go do it!" Tucker pointed to Wash who was standing by Carolina, drinking eggnog with a straw. </p><p>"Listen guys, the chart said it was Church's turn." He held up his free hand defensively. </p><p>"Fine, <em>I </em>will do it." Tex stood up and went to leave the room when Caboose suddenly bounded down the stairs, dressed poorly in a Santa costume.</p><p>"HarHarHar, Merry Crisis Agent Taxes!" He came over and hugged Tex before handing her a red bag. "Santy thinks you've been a good girl this year!" </p><p>"I...think the term is <em>Christmas, </em>Caboose." Simmons adjusted his seated position, watching this interesting situation unfold. Caboose was damn near impossible to predict. </p><p>"Oh, thanks Caboose," Tex cracked a small smile while bringing the bag back to her seat. Church and Wash squinted. </p><p>"Caboose, where did you get the outfit?" Wash first asked, being the more rational and calm of the two of them. </p><p>"Oh I found it off a guy. He was very big, and smelled like skunks." Caboose gave a wide smile as Tex made a disgruntled noise. </p><p>"You literally went into my room and took things off my shelves, Caboose." She held up her economics textbook and a coffee mug Church got her for her birthday. </p><p>"I did not do that. Santy did it." Caboose deadpanned, still standing there in the Santa Claus outfit that everyone in the room is now convinced he stole off a skeevy mall Santa on accident. Tex shook her head with a sigh after Wash gave her an innocent death glare. "It's...really thoughtful, <em>Santa, </em>thank you." She swallowed her pride but avoided eye contact as Church now ushered Caboose out of the room to go get changed and find out <em>where </em>he stole the outfit from. </p><p>"Alright Tex, who did you have?" Doc asked kindly to hopefully distract her from the disappointing gift. </p><p>"Oh, I had Lopez." She got up to retrieve the gift she got him from the tree and passed it off. The brown haired, Hispanic international student took the gift and unwrapped it slowly. </p><p>"...un traductor," Lopez was puzzled as he held up a translation book. </p><p>"You know, to help you learn English and maybe understand Sarge." Tex sat back down on the arm of the couch and folded her arms. </p><p> "Puedo entender a Sarge muy bien, él elige no aprender español." Lopez grumbled before nodding as a slight thank you. </p><p>"Oh come on Lopez, don't call Sarge an appendix!" Donut <em>awfully </em>translated Lopez's Spanish, Locus rolling his eyes but choosing not to get involved. It would most likely only things worse, and he wasn't ready for the entire room to know he was bilingual. It would only make Red House want him more. </p><p>"Oh Lopez, I know you mean those words affectionately!" Sarge huffed his chest. "Who did you have for Secret Santa?" </p><p>"Felix." He shot the lanky man a look, not wanting to move from his spot on the floor. Felix, with lots of surprise in his face (Locus couldn't tell if he was <em>faking </em>it or not), sauntered to the tree to find his orange-wrapped gift. He busted into it like he never received a gift before in his life. Felix's face changed from naive excitement to a scowl. </p><p>"A....book on how to pick up women." Felix flipped it around. Locus snorted. He helped Lopez with gift ideas one afternoon over coffee at the dining hall. </p><p>"Oooohhhh, looks like you have issues in the lady department!" Tucker and Sister bashed him in the corner and Felix's cheeks turned bright red. </p><p>"I do <em>not</em>! I'll have you know I've had many <em>pleasant </em>interactions with many types of women on this college campus!" Felix stuck his tongue out before reaching for another gift. "Speaking of pleasant women, I had the pleasure of buying a gift for the one and only....Carolina." </p><p>"You've <em>got </em>to be kidding me." She furrowed her brow at Felix's outstretched arm, holding a large gift bag. Wash and Locus exchanged a troubled glance. Carolina removed the tissue paper at the top of the bag to then pull out three items: a bottle of cheap wine, a decent turquoise dress and a dinner reservation card. </p><p>"Aw, Felix is asking Carolina out!" Sister whispered to Tucker. But here was the punchline: everyone <em>knew </em>Carolina was in a steady relationship with York. </p><p>"I....thanks Felix, this will be a great date night for York and I," She spun it against him and nearly everyone in the room's eyes went wide. Felix sputtered, being ignorant to seeing the happy couple together <em>numerous </em>times and went back to where he was standing. </p><p>"Hey, could you get me a nice suit while you're at it?" Locus teased before Felix whispered a harsh <em>shut the fuck up</em> as Carolina took the floor. </p><p>"I got someone who I know well enough to know he'll either take this advice seriously or....not at all. Merry Christmas, Tucker." She threw the present to him, which he flinched and it fell to the floor. "Thankfully it's a sturdy gift." </p><p>"Jeez Carolina, don't do that!" Tucker yelled back as he went to open his present. "A....'How to Be a Gentleman'....?" He read the book title as Carolina and Wash snorted. They both thought it was pretty funny. </p><p>"I could help you out, Tucker." Felix smirked with a shrug. Tucker sighed before putting the book off to the side. "I do know a thing or two how to be a gentleman." </p><p>"In your dreams, asshole." Tucker hissed before moving to get up off the wall. "I had Kaikaina for my Secret Santa." He spoke proudly. </p><p>"Awww you did?!" She seemed so surprised, but there wasn't many people left. Only two gifts remained under the tree. </p><p>"Yeah, I did, and I think I'll outshine all of the gifts tonight-" Tucker was cut off by Church's yelling from upstairs and a sudden wild Caboose appearing beneath the tree. </p><p>"Hello!" He spoke, his head wrapped in something. Wash and Tucker exchanged a glance. </p><p>"Caboose, what are you wearing?" Tucker initially asked, the room going silent. You needed all attention and no distractions to understand Caboose. </p><p>"It's a mask! I found it!" He poked his head out from under the tree. Carolina's eyes went wide. </p><p>"Caboose, that is not a mask." Carolina spoke as Felix had to excuse himself - he couldn't keep himself from cackling of laughter. Simmons's face turned beet red while Sarge and Grif were unphased. </p><p>"Is he....really wearing a <em>thong</em>?" Grif was the first to say it aloud as Tucker's throat choked. </p><p>"Oh god...Caboose, that gift is for <em>Kaikaina, </em>not you." He spoke slowly so hopefully the Blue House man-child could comprehend. </p><p>"WAIT A MINUTE." Grif shouted. "You got my sister lingerie?!" </p><p>"Yeah, the fuck's your problem?" Tucker sassed back as he removed the undergarment from Caboose's head. Church came back downstairs while huffing. </p><p>"Hey, sorry everyone, had to uh...clean the bedroom. What did I miss?" </p><p>"Nothing special." Grif hissed, giving Tucker a death glare as he passed off the exposed lingerie and the rest of the box to Sister. "Your roommate Tucker got my <em>sister </em>a thong for Christmas." </p><p>"Dex, don't be such a dick!" Kai returned the sass before going over to the tree to put in Grif's lap the last present of the circle. "Here, Merry Christmas." </p><p>"Holy shit, you had me?" Grif frankly was also not paying attention to who had who, he kept nodding off to sleep land but with the occasional shouting from Caboose made it difficult to stay asleep. Sister rolled her eyes before tapping her foot, waiting for Grif to open the present. "It's....a care package from home? But isn't shipping expensive?" </p><p>"Yeah, but I helped Mom out. I put it all together for her, she sent me all the components." Sister ruffled Grif's hair. "Be thankful, you fuck." </p><p>"Aw man, this is awesome! Smoked sausages, a cheese platter, Oreos from different countries?! Kai, thank you so much!" Grif shoved the gift to Simmons's lap so he could stand and give his sister a hug. </p><p>"And that's a wrap, ladies and gentlemen!" Doc exclaimed. Donut was already getting the cookie making station ready in the dining room. "Give it a few minutes and then we can make cookies!" </p><p>Church looked around sheepishly as people started to talk amongst themselves. Grif and Sister were laughing as he was already plunging into the Oreos. Felix and Tucker were having their differences while Carolina oversaw. Lopez, Tex and Simmons were trying to figure out the translator guide. He sighed. </p><p>"Hey." Wash came over to him. "Something up?" </p><p>"You know David," Church was leaned against the door frame. "Sometimes I wonder why I'm here, with all of you. I mean, I <em>hate </em>most of them." He spoke quietly. "But...it's times like this that make me...enjoy the company." Church gave a soft smile as he heard Caboose playing with his new train set. Church could be considered an 'elite' of the school - he was a top student and also in the prime position to hold president of the Student Government next fall semester. It felt...odd to not hang out with that crowd, but rather with these idiots. "It's...nice." </p><p>"That's....a good way to look at it." Wash patted Church's shoulder before moving to help Donut and Doc with setting up in the dining room. Church gave one more glance before looking down at Caboose. Even if he hated everyone, this was his happy place. He was home. </p>
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